Healing is a Journey
Healing is a Journey, Not a Destination: Navigating Triggers and Growth
Healing from past trauma is often described as a journey, but it very rarely follows a straight path. More often, it feels like a spiral: just when you think you've made progress, something will trigger old feelings and patterns, making you feel like you've taken a step back. However, these moments aren't setbacks; they're opportunities to apply what you've learned and continue your growth with deeper understanding.
Understand the Spiral Nature of Healing
It's easy to become frustrated when old emotions resurface after what seemed like progress. As Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability and shame, explains, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do.” Understanding that healing is a spiral, not a straight line, helps us treat these moments of discomfort as part of the process rather than as failures.
Embrace Triggers as Teachers
Triggers can feel like setbacks, but they are actually invitations to deepen your healing. Gabor Maté, a leading expert on trauma and addiction, teaches that trauma is not the event itself, but how we internalise and live with it. “The attempt to escape from pain is what creates more pain,” Maté explains. By recognising triggers as opportunities for growth, we can bring awareness and curiosity to them, rather than resistance.
Return to What You've Learned
When you encounter challenges, it's crucial to stay grounded in the tools you've developed along your healing journey. Whether it's mindfulness, journaling, or self-compassion practices, these are the anchors that keep you steady. Returning to these habits during difficult times allows you to navigate old patterns without falling back into them.
Practice Self-Compassion
Healing requires immense patience and gentleness with yourself. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, teaches that being kind to ourselves, especially in moments of struggle, helps break the cycle of shame and self-judgement. “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticising yourself, self-compassion means being warm and understanding toward yourself when confronted with your personal failings,” Neff explains. This practice allows you to heal without getting caught in the trap of self-blame.
Create Healing Rituals
To sustain your healing, it's helpful to create daily rituals that nourish your mind and body. Meditation, journaling, or simply taking time to breathe can keep you grounded especially when life can feel out of control. Mindfulness is very important during the healing journey, particularly in being present with discomfort rather than avoiding it.
Seek Support When Needed
Healing is not a solitary journey, and connecting with a supportive community or professional guidance can be transformative. Gabor Maté often highlights the importance of compassionate inquiry, a therapeutic approach that helps individuals explore the roots of their trauma in a safe, supportive space. “The more we isolate ourselves in our pain, the deeper the wounds become,” says Maté. By seeking support from a therapist, counsellor, or even a trusted friend, we allow ourselves to process trauma rather than letting it fester.
Celebrate Your Progress
Healing is not about reaching a final destination but rather about appreciating the growth that occurs along the way. Brené Brown encourages us to celebrate even the smallest victories: “Joy comes to us in moments—ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” By acknowledging and celebrating how far you've come, you reinforce your progress and cultivate a sense of gratitude for the journey.
Final Thoughts
Healing is a lifelong journey, one that's rich with growth, transformation, and resilience. While triggers and setbacks may arise, they are not obstacles but stepping stones to deeper understanding and strength. By embracing self-compassion, practicing patience, and courageously facing old patterns, you empower yourself to keep moving forward. Remember, healing is not about achieving perfection—it's about progress, no matter how small. Every step forward, every lesson learned, is a victory worth celebrating. Trust in your journey, lean on the tools and support you've gathered, and know that each moment of healing brings you closer to the peace and joy you deserve.